These posts have stemmed from a debate that was started accidentally elsewhere, and although it had started getting a bit personal there, it has raised some interesting questions, and some further areas I would like to explore, and I feel the subject deserves an airing here. I will make it fairly easy to respond to any section that you wish to by numbering various points that were made,do feel free to add your views but do try to keep them general and free from swearing please!
Most of these unless otherwise stated are my own personal views and I will NOT take it personally if you disagree, in fact that would make for a healthy all-round discussion. I would like to add here that I was one of the privileged high-earners and big spenders myself untill the UK’s industry took a huge nose-dive, so I do know what it’s like from both sides of the fence!
I will happily approve all comments that follow the above remit, whether you agree or disagree with any comments made here! 🙂
And any tips you may have, even if you are NOT from the UK, may well help somebody somewhere so do feel free to join in, wherever you are based!
Part 1 was Eating Well Or Starving To Pay Bills
Part 2 was It’s All Your Own Fault!
Part 3 was Get Off Your Backsides And Get A Job!
DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN UNTIL YOU ARE FINANCIALLY READY TO!
1. My favourite comment, which keeps coming up time and time again, in all forms of media, has to be to one whereby you are not supposed to even think of having children unless you are in a very stable financial position, and have the house, job, car etc, all neatly in place before you start a family. Ok, we all read those headline stories of people on benefits supposedly deliberately having more and more children in order to get bigger council houses and/or more benefits money given to them, but really………these are in a definate minority. Most of us struggle on a daily basis to balance areas of our lives, and I think I speak for most single parents like myself here, we did not CHOOSE to be either pregnant or alone in many cases. It’s as much my fault that I did not have a crystal ball when choosing my ex-partner ( BabyMib’s Dad) as it is the UK government’s fault that it chose to bail out those already wealthy bankers to all our detriments!
2. “Wait untill the right time” gets advised again and again, so when IS the right time?
Given that so many jobs these days simply aren’t the “jobs for life” that they once were, and the housing market is spiralling way past the average working person’s ability to contemplate, a lot of couples could simply wait forever and still not attain the “required” positions in life to have a family. I personally do not believe that having children needs to cost a huge amount of money,and waiting too long will cause huge complications healthwise and also massive NHS bills for IVF treatments etc. So long as there is a roof over your heads and food on the table, the main ingredient required is LOVE, and seeing one parent go out to work regularly, even for a part-time job, creates a great work ethic. My personal plan now is to move to a better location, get some kind of part-time job AND start a small business from home that my son can also get involved with. The “right time” surely is when you feel ready in your soul, NOT when you might or might not have all the trappings in place. If that was the case, then only the politicians and rich celebrities would be able to raise families!
3. For all those who watch the news or read the papers and tut profusely whenever a single parent or family is being slated for having some million pound “mansion” on benefits, do please remember these are minorities, it has been a long long time since single young mums were preferenced for council accomodation and help, nowadays deciding NOT to kill your unborn child is proving to be a brave decision for a lot of people, it’s hard work, for the majority of familes far from a “lifestyle” choice, and with the actual fertility rates dropping in the Western world, quite possibly should be applauded not berated. What we do need to see are far more flexible jobs, where people can work part-time, job-share and the like, and of course for the fat cats at the top to help us “all be in this together” by not making quite so much of a profit out of our misery!
To be continued……………