Computer Skills…NOT – Joke

  This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!

 

Tech support:What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one…

 

Customer:Hi, this is Maureen. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No,wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry…

 

Tech support:Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

 

Tech support:Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support:Would you click on ‘start’ for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print.

Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’.

I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

 

Customer:I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaa………………..thank you.

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woollies.

 

Customer:My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here.

Ah…that one does work…

Tech support:

Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple,

a capital letter V as in Victor,

the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

Customer: can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

 

Tech support:What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem.

A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.

The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’

 

And last but not least…

 

Tech support:‘Okay Colin, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time.

That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: ‘P’…..on your keyboard, Colin.

Customer:I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Jokes Corner

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s