Some Random Thoughts To Make You Smile – Joke

I dialed a number and got the following recording: 
“I am not available right now, but 
Thank you for caring enough to call.   
I am making some changes in my life..   
P lease leave a message after the  
Beep. If I do not return your call,   
You are one of the changes.” 
 
~~~~~ 
Aspire to inspire before you expire. 

~~~~~    
My wife and I had words,   
But I didn’t get to use mine. 
~~~~~ 
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. 
~~~~~ 
The irony of life is that, by the time   
You’re old enough to know your way  around, 
you’re not going anywhere. 
~~~~~ 
 
God made man before woman so as to give him time    
to think of an answer for her first question. 
  ~~~~~ 

I was always taught to respect my elders,   
But it keeps getting harder to find one. 

  ~~~~~ 

 What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic? 
Stress is when your wife is pregnant, 
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant, 
and Panic is when they are both pregnant. 
 

********************************************************* 
 
A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, 
“Are all these kids yours?” 
The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory and these 
are customer complaints”. 
 
********************************************************* 
 
A young boy asks his Dad, “What is the difference between confident and confidential?” 
Dad says, “You are my son, I’m confident about that. 

Your friend over there, is also my son, that’s confidential.” 
 
****************************** 

 A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles 
while taking a bath. 
“Mom” he asked, “are these my brains?” 
“Not yet,” she replied.

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