Halloween Fun Part 1 – Jokes

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Lake Erie

Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi

Q: How do you make a witch stew?
A: Keep her waiting for hours

Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist?
A: He was repossessed

Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person’s Corn Flakes?
A: A cereal killer

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch

Q: How do ghosts begin their letters?
A: “Tomb it may concern…”

Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in

Q: What do you get when you cross Dracula with Sleeping Beauty?
A: Tired blood

Q: Why was the mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite ride?
A: A roller ghoster

Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying?
A: You can see right through him

Q: How is a werewolf like a computer?
A: They both have megabytes

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead-end

Q: Where do vampires live?
A: At the Vampire State Building

Q: Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
A: They’re afraid of flying off the handle

Q: How can you tell when a window is scared?
A: They get shudders

There was a very old man who was lying upstairs, dying.
Little Johnny came in and said “Hi Grandpa”
“Hi little sweetie” he said. “Say, are those Grandmas extra special cookies I smell?”
“Yes” Johnny replied.
“Do you think you can sneak downstairs and get a couple for me?”
“Sure” Johnny replied
In a few minutes, Little Johnny came back with a frown on his face.
Grandpa asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Grandma wouldn’t let me have any; she says they are for after the funeral.”

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetite!

Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the Dead Sea

Q: What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello

Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling!

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