Wisdom…The Root Of All Evil

On Tuesday just gone, after a two year wrangle firstly trying to find an NHS dentist then waiting on a list for the actual extraction appointment at my local hospital, I finally got my slot to have my last niggling but nasty wisdom tooth removed. Now whoever named these beasties “Wisdom Teeth” needs to have their heads examined, they are far from wise, utterly useless and incredibly painful when they decide to “pop up” and say hello. 

Anyhow, got to the outpatients department, waited an hour past my allotted appointment time, then got my date with the devil as it were!

I have to say, the dental surgeon and his nurse were extremely nice, I can’t fault their “bedside” manner, nor the cleanliness of the scarey-looking medieval torture chamber they inhabited, and I am one of the most nervous patients in history……..BUT it was still an experience I cannot fully recommend, although I know in the long run it will be a good thing right now IT HURTS LIKE HELL STILL three days since!

Below are some comments from the leaflet that was given to me, some 40 harrowing minutes later, several jokey comments along the lines of my rogue tooth “being a little stubborn” and one HUGE tooth lighter. They are my immediate if fuzzy thoughts when reading them, hopefully make someone smile out there!

Excerpts From The Post Operative Instructions Following Oral Surgery Leaflet I Was Given

PAIN

There should be no pain immediately after the operation due to the local anaesthetic used. This should last for 3-4 hours before sensation returns slowly and care should be taken to avoid biting the lip or tongue during this time.

yeah righty, easy to say when you’re not the one who just got assaulted with several lethal-looking weapons!

and what lip or tongue? there’s a bliddy great BALLOON on my face right now!

Pain tends to be worse on the 2nd or 3rd day but gradually improves over a period of 7-10 days.

no shit Sherlock………..

Simple painkillers such as Paracetamol, Ibuprofen or Codydramol should control the pain.

you tell me this NOW, after I have already done my week’s shop and didn’t actually GET any! Grrrrrrrrrrr

SWELLING

 This is common after surgery has been carried out on the jaw.

no, really?

The swelling reaches it’s maximum 2-3 days after surgery.

Okaayyyyyy, barrage balloon is ok then

The swelling should resolve 7-10 days after surgery.

if it doesn’t then my son’s first day at school is going to go well, when Elephant Woman drops him off!

Bruising of the face occasionally occurs and can take up to 2 weeks to resolve.

If it’s only occasionally, then I struck the wrong side of lucky!

if one more person asked me how the other person came off from the fight, I swear, if I could I would scream!

BLEEDING

This should be minimal by the time you leave the hospital.

like anyone is going to be brave enough to actually go back there and complain?

DIET

Your mouth opening will be restricted for about a week.

that’s an understatement……..I’d be less restricted if they’d wired my jaw shut!

Eating semi-solid food should be possible.

if you are a fly and can slurp your liqudated meal up….

Use your own discretion and gradually start eating normally according to your own pace.

 three days down the line and my pace is around 2 hours to gum a single piece of bread…….old folks with NO teeth put me to shame right now!

 Seriously, all credit to our wonderful NHS, we may have to wait a bit at times, but they are great and deserve all praise for their hard work.

 

 

 

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2 Comments

Filed under General Daily Blurb

2 responses to “Wisdom…The Root Of All Evil

  1. Terry

    WHAT IDIOT WHO KNOWS THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE THIS
    DONE DOESN’T ARRANGE PAIN KILLERS IN ADVANCE.!!!!!!!!!

    NOT A GREAT CONSOLATION I KNOW BUT IT WILL GET BETTER.

    AT LEAST THAT’S ONE BLIGHTER THAT WANT GIVE YOU ANY MORE TROUBLE.

    TRY MILKSHAKES THROUGH A STRAW. AT LEAST THAT WILL GIVE YOU SOME GOODNESS.

    AND NO SMOKING. DON’T WANT THE WOUND TO GET INFECTED. IN FACT A GREAT TIME TO GIVE UP. !!!!

    LOVE, MUM.XXX

    • Yes mother, no mother, three bags full mother! (Tee hee)
      This idiot lol, was trying not to think about it I suppose, and don’t smoke much anymore BTW, down to one or two a week!

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