Today I have managed to start the very long climb out of my three year fugue state. Well, I say start the climb, I have actually been able to see the light in the very dim distance for a while now, it’s just the momumental task of scaling the sheer cliff upwards to get there!
These last three years have been spent in a bit of a daze to be totally honest, but after the events of today, it is as though someone reconnected the power in my head, if that makes any kind of sense!
The day started very badly, had to rush BabyMibs off to his third stay and play session at his new school, then went to do some shopping….unfortunately due to the usual stresses of trying to get my son to do anything, I wasn’t really paying attention and got overcharged by £7 and pence at one shop ( given that I usually spend a little more than I did today there it really didn’t click untill I got back home!)
I did call the shop as soon as I realised, which was about 30 minutes later when I got back home, BUT, they say without a receipt ( they never give those out) there is nothing they can do!
I am gutted, with the loss of that money, after paying my rent and utility bills weekly amounts, I now only have £6.42 left for everything else, and some of that really needs to be put to one side towards BabyMibs School Uniform, which isn’t going to be a cheap exercise as it apparently can ONLY be gotten at one shop!
BUT, once I got over that sick in the stomach feeling you get when things go badly wrong, I realised that together with this whole “school in a posh area” thing, I am now definate about where I want us to be in a years time, one way or another I HAVE to make it happen.
This school, great though it appears to be for the kids, seems to be inhabited by rich people. They pretty much ALL drive 4X4’s, look as though they stepped off the cover of a magazine, and definately do NOT “do” rags like I have to ( I DID wear my bestest, least scruffy clothes to the school meetings but..)
BabyMibs loves it there and is straight into the fray as soon as we arrive….I however am still amazed that no-one has called the police on the “bag-lady” stalker skulking on her own at the edge of the playground!
I have never been too good around folks I don’t know, takes me a while to get used to people, and to be honest, my days of wearing designer clobber are long gone,it’s all not-so-neat, make do and mend darning nowadays, and this bunch DO seem to be a judgemental on appearances lot. Don’t know if it’s just me, but I find other women a tad picky, bitchy, am not sure what the correct term is, but have only ever really clicked with a couple of fellow females in my entire life!
In fact I only actually have two real-life friends anyhow, neither of whom live anywhere near me, and one is thousands of miles away in Africa!
SO, grin and bear it, and in the meantime do whatever I can to make our Welsh dream come true. I am painfully aware that the grass won’t necessarily be greener, but BabyMibs WILL get to see a lot more of his grandparents (don’t worry mommy dearest, I won’t be expecting loads of babysitting!), and I have decided after much travelling and living across the UK, that city and large town life just isn’t me. I would very much like my son to grow up in a proper community where everyone knows who their neighbours are.
When you see a new blog of mine attached to this one, with a picture of a bee on it, you’ll know our new adventure has begun!