This last weekend was a very strange one for me. Add to this the news that Saturday was supposed to be the end of the world as we know it, according to some preacher in the USA, as it turned out, far from being the “rapture” as promised, it was more of a cleansing experience for me!
I had my brother’s wedding to attend, with a DJ rig in tow as I had promised to organise the disco for the happy couple.
As an aside, I had already had the awkward moment of explaining to those family members that we only get to meet at large events such as weddings and funerals due to the sheer distance between us all nowadays, why it is that both my sons weren’t present at the wedding!
This is being covered in another post HERE that is taking me quite some time to compose, suffice to say it never ceases to amaze me how some news seems to get “lost” within families!
Unbeknown to me however, was the fact that they had hired a bolt-from-the-blue blast from my past as their wedding photographer!
What are the odds, after some 24 years, and a LOT of deliberate moving far away from home later, of meeting your ex first love at your brother’s wedding??
Talk about a very awkward situation..I mean, this guy almost completely destroyed me, he truly broke my heart and is probably the main reason I have never really settled since. I had imagined the possibility of meeting him if it ever occurred, and replayed over and over in my mind what I would like to say to him, and guess what, when it actually happened unexpectedly this weekend, all that went completely out of the window!
The net result was that in a kind of weird daze, I managed to completely avoid being in any of the family photographs ( for which no doubt I will get a fair amount of grief), and for some insane reason for the reception, instead of wearing the killer red dress that I had spent a LOT of time on altering ( due to recurring cysts problem I have that “pregnant belly” look at the moment!) I simply donned my leggings and a comfy scruffy top, and hid for the ages between the actual ceremony and the party down in the reception hall, quietly getting drunk and wishing I was anywhere else BUT there!
Did I also forget to mention the “how not to remove facial hair” incident written about here recently?
Far from being the “look really stunning and leave him regretting his actions” moment I had envisaged, with the scruffy clothes and face still showing the “scars” from the wax strips it was probably HIM thinking lucky escape lolol!
Imagine my complete shock when aforesaid ex suddenly appeared right in front of me, all calm and smiling and sat there chatting away. Life can really throw some odd curveballs at times. It was, however, a little disappointing, obviously not having laid eyes on the guy for all this time, in my mind’s eye during the imagined meeting, he remained as I remembered, and as it is, he seems a shadow of the guy I remember. The only good thing is all the hatred I felt back then and had still harboured to a degree melted away into a kind of nothingness.
At the time, years ago, I had gotten dumped by him “as he wasn’t ready to leave home and settle down” yet then promptly moved in with a new girl LESS THAN HALF A MILE from my home, on the only possible route I could walk into work, which only added to the torture for me….there were other factors that made the whole situation pretty much unbearable for me, and my reaction to the whole episode at the time was to get as far away from my hometown as possible, thus not having to lay eyes on the cause of my hurt again!
It’s amazing how much you mellow with age, these days I’d probably just shrug and think “your loss matey”. On reflection it’s just a great shame that I didn’t put on that dress, plaster a smile on my face and SHOW him what he could have had!
Do I wish things had been different?
For a very long time I did, but with age and reflection, no, I wouldn’t, anyone who could be that cruel to another simply isn’t worth the heartache, remember, you boys out there, the simple kindness of honesty goes a long long way, I could have been saved a great deal of heartache and soul-searching all those years ago with the simple application of honesty.
Ah well, ce la vie as they say!
BUT, the wedding itself went extremely well, the bride looked absolutely beautiful, they both turned up and there were no fights or bad behaviour from anyone, so overall a fantastic day!
Have a great life mystery man, I sure as heck will!